- JLPT N2
~ようものなら
NikoJapanese conditionals... they haunt me.
OK, that's an exaggeration. But I do get a little bit nervous anytime I need to write an article about a conditional phrase like ～たら、～ば、or なら.
It's difficult to explain how they're used differently. I was well past N1 level before I really understood the difference between the various conditional forms of Japanese.
Alas, I will not be teaching those differences in this lesson, either. I'll save it for the fifteen or so conditional patterns getting covered in N4 and N3 lessons.
Anyway, I often mention that it can help to think of the word なら as meaning "if it is the case that." I talked about this idea a bit in JLPT N2: ものなら, a lesson I thoroughly enjoyed writing.
In that lesson, we saw how ものなら can be used in a conversation like this:
A:
ぶっ飛ばしてやる！
ぶっとばして やる！
I’m gonna beat the sh** out of you!
B:
やれるものならやってみな。
やれる ものなら やって みな。
Go ahead and try. // I’d like to see you try.
Though somewhat less exciting, the grammar point we're looking at here is a bit similar...
JLPT N1: ～ようものなら (if X were to ~, then...)
First we take a verb and put it into the volitional form (=Vよう).
Then we snap ものなら onto the end of that.
The resulting phrase is "if X were to VERB, then..." as in the following sentence:
潔癖症の彼が私の部屋を見ようものなら、ショック死するかもしれない。
けっぺきしょう の かれ が わたし の へや を みようものなら、 ショックし する かもしれない。
If a clean freak like him saw my room, he might die of shock.
The meaning is actually "If he-the-clean-freak saw..." Or if "his" name is "Dan," for example, we could say "If clean-freak Dan saw..."
I always have trouble translating these sentences that have "description の person" as the subject. It makes it very hard to fit all of the Japanese into a single sentence. And yet, using two sentences can feel like over-translating:
- If a clean freak like him saw my room...
- He's such a clean freak. If he saw my room...
- He's a total clean freak. If he saw my room...
I was also going back and forth as to whether I should translate 潔癖症 (けっぺきしょう) as "clean freak" or "neat freak."
Based on the research I did, "neat freak" is a more common phrase in English, but I don't think "neat" matches up with the nuance of 潔癖症 (けっぺきしょう).
A neat person is not messy. So they wouldn't have clothes all over the floor, but there might be quite a bit of dust on their shelves. If you're 潔癖症, though, you despise things that are "dirty," "filthy," "impure," and so on.
...maybe a "neat freak" does, too. I don't know. (If you don't like pondering stuff like this, don't become a translator).
Focus. We need to look at grammar.
Right. So we have this guy:
潔癖症の彼
けっぺきしょう の かれ
a clean freak like him
...and if he were to see "my" room:
私の部屋を見ようものなら
わたし の へや を みようものなら
if he were to see my room
...he might die of shock:
ショック死するかもしれない
ショックし する かもしれない
he might die of shock
Throw in a particle here, a comma there, and we've got a full sentence:
潔癖症の彼が私の部屋を見ようものなら、ショック死するかもしれない。
けっぺきしょう の かれ が わたし の へや を みようものなら、 ショックし する かもしれない。
If a clean freak like him saw my room, he might die of shock.
Makes sense, yeah?
👷 Construction 👷
I already mentioned this earlier, but our sentences will have this format:
V よう ＋ ものなら
if (X) were to VERB
Just three more examples, my friend.
The sentences are a bit long... but they're not nearly as long as the paragraphs you'll encounter on the N2 test, so maybe they won't wear you out too much.
麻弥さんは時間に厳しい。待ち合わせに１分でも遅れようものなら、大変なことになる。
まや さん は じかん に きびしい。 まちあわせ に いっぷん でも おくれようものなら、 たいへんな こと に なる。
Maya-san is crazy about being punctual. If you’re even a minute late to meet with her, there’ll be trouble.
ハルキストの彼の前で村上春樹の悪口を言おうものなら、地獄を見ることになりますよ。
ハルキスト の かれ の まえ で むらかみはるき の わるぐち を いおうものなら、 じごく を みる ことになります よ。
If you say anything bad about Haruki Murakami in front of a Harukist [major fan of Murakami] like him, it’ll be the last thing you ever say.
Haruki Murakami is an uber-famous Japanese author.
あんなに意地悪な人が社長になろうものなら、半分以上の社員は仕事を辞めるだろう。
あんな に いじわるな ひと が しゃちょう に なろうものなら、 はんぶん いじょう の しゃいん は しごと を やめる だろう。
If a jerk like him became the company president, over half the employees would quit.
One more grammar point out of the way.
You're like a grammar glutton, going through all of this Japanese.
If you want to have some more fun with conditionals, here are a bunch that we've covered:
- JLPT N2: くらいなら
- JLPT N1: ならでは
- JLPT N2: ものなら
- JLPT N4: ～たら (if)
- JLPT N4: ～たら (after)
- JLPT N4: ～といい (hope)
- JLPT N4: ～たらいい (hope)
- JLPT N4: ～ばいい (hope)
- JLPT N1: ～たら最後
- JLPT N3: さえ～ば
Niko
